Can we choose to be who we want to be?

Perception is not always reality
I am not sure why I always feel disappointed when someone fails to live up to my expectations. I should know by now that it is a rare event when someone will actually have the same idea about commitment, work ethic, or other topic.

My internal dialogue challenges me to face reality and accept the fact that the things I have told myself about people and about how they view me or relate to me is often a bunch of crap. It brings out the worst in me when I start to think down this line of thought. Why should I care? Does it really help for me to have an unrealistic view of the way someone feels about me, then be disappointed when they don't feel or act in a way that I would if given a certain situation. No it doesn't.

Is it possible to change?
I wonder if it is even possible to become who we want to be. I think for me it is a matter of understanding how I process my thoughts and feelings. Instead of allowing myself to go down the same path of thinking or feeling, I will try to put up a mental stop sign, then take an alternate path. The path I know will put me in the proper mindset, the mindset of the Steve / person I want to be. This is really hard because I am used to and often desire to think or feel a certain way. But as we know if we let our desires control us we will not always find ourselves in the best position. For example, I love cheeseburgers thus I desire to eat them. But I am aware of my genetics that say if Steve eats cheeseburgers he becomes a blimp. So to avoid this I don't eat them and I stay at a reasonable weight. I think the same principle applies to other aspects of life.

When it is all said and done I think most of my problems with depression and the things I don't like about myself are due to my lack of control of my thoughts, and feelings. So I have come to the conclusion that I must find a way to control what I think, and feel.

So who do I want to be?
The list below will define the characteristics of the person I want / will become;

1. Be independent and not really need anyone or anything to be happy
2. Be carefree and not worry about things that I have no control over
3. Be strong and calm in the face of adversity
4. Be loving, caring, compassionate, kind, patient, considerate, and selfless
5. To have no expectations or reasonable expectations of others.
6. To have a strong will and be fully committed to my goals always
7. To be as responsible as possible and think things through better
8. Be truly able to unconditionally love someone and not need anything in return
9. A person who pushes himself hard to achieve his goals
10. Having a clear mind, not clouded with concerns
11. To always think of others 1st

Okay your probably saying " Steve you must be crazy!"
To be honest I might be. lol. I don't think it is crazy to have high expectations of ourselves however. I see it as necessary to learn to forgive ourselves when we fail to meet those expectations. Because guess what?... We will fail from time to time.

How can you possibly become who you want to be?
As a Christian for me there is only one way and that is to give God the rains of my life. Allow him to change me through time. Only he can carve away the rough edges of my personality. Being like Jesus would be a good goal for anyone I think. After all he is a person that has most of not all of the qualities I want in myself.

There are many versus in the bible about the "gifts of the spirit" etc... I will post the versus soon as I am limited on time for the moment.

to be continued....